As I was biking home from work one day this week, I did some serious thinking about what kind of an impact this long-term injury is having on my life. Obviously my “new normal” is very different from what I am used to and from what I would prefer it to be, but just because it is different doesn’t mean it has to be bad. I asked myself what I needed to do in order to purposefully seek to make this a good experience, and I kept coming back to three main things.
I’m 6.5 weeks into this injury now, and I am quite sure I’ve got at least that many more to go. During the last couple of weeks especially, as I’ve waited for various appointments with various specialists, it has seemed like nothing could happen fast enough and no one had the least sense of the urgency I was feeling. Case in point: I have an appointment to get an MRI on my foot today, but I won’t get the results until next Tuesday. I’m learning that for the sake of my own sanity, I need to stop rushing and just wait patiently.
Worry and anxiety have also plagued me as I stress over whether or not I’m going to be able to run the races I’ve signed up for. I’ve realized that in order to be free from that inner turmoil I need to do two things: first, I need to let go of my compulsion to control this situation and trust that God has a plan for me and will guide me through, and second, I need to let go of my plans and accept that missing a few races is not a big deal in the long run (pun intended ). In doing this (a little bit at a time), I have found a sense of peace gradually replacing the constant worry.
The biggest thing that I want to come from this injury is to learn how to be happy in even the worst circumstances. Not just to accept the facts and move on, not just to most the most of what I’ve got, but to be genuinely HAPPY in all things. I also want to be happy for others, specifically those who are out there doing the things that I wish I could be doing. The alternative is to be bitter and jealous, and I want no part of that. Instead of grumping my way through this injury, I am going to choose to seek out happiness.